All posts by Nyctophile

Always yours from a far 

And I like you more than certain songs on a lonely night, more than a mug of coffee on a snowy evening, more than distinct smell of old books on a lazy afternoon or even more than the sound of rain against the window of my room. I like you more than the melted chocolate on my fingertips and more than the Christmas lights and the pure holiday bliss. I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you more than anything I’ve ever liked but sadly this too will be unknown to you like a thousand other things. 

Always yours from a far,


This will be just another secret buried between the thick pages written in black ink. A secret you will never know no matter what the intensity of your curiosity is. No matter if it is in the same hole that has been growing in me forever or burning me to ashes every time I try to look around. The reason for it is simply that you’re completely something else than anything I have ever known. You are made from the ashes of a Phoenix and shy smiles of soft touches. You carry the calm in one hand and chaos in the other. You brings all of my dreams and reality together and I, I can do nothing but watch from a far. Steal glances in return for stealing my breath away and somehow I know that you will be my catastrophic end. I know our colliding worlds will leave nothing behind but I still want to close my eyes and take a leap of faith right before the storm just for one last dance with you in the rain. 


Within your infinitude

Dear you,

I know it has only been a few months we’ve known each other but will you believe me if I told you that in this short period of time, you have become the only fact that is true in my life? Irrational yet constant like the ultimate singularity that is infinitely distant.

You are the stories of my backspace buttons like the hiding shadow of the sun in this cold days. You are the imperfection that makes everything feel perfect, the beats of a wornout favorite or the last time lapse between each of my breathes. 

You are here but you aren’t here. You’re the miracle that I want, the one I need to get me through each passing moment. But you’re like the shooting star I wish upon which has already reached the ground. 

You and I have a world together. The one away from everything yet in the midst of everyone. You’re the paradox where forever that lasts few seconds yet that is the only moment of the day that feels true. Every morning I feel the infatuation will evaporate but there is something new about you everyday. You’re the book I never get tired of reading. You are the vastness that wraps every piece of existence.
Sometimes when you look at me, your entity makes me want to fade away but I never wanted to fade. Do you hear me? I don’t want to fade. I want a piece of home within your infinitude and stay there forever.



An open letter to someone who demanded explanation

Dear you,

I’m a broken person, I accept. Every broken thing can’t be fixed, you should accept it too. My edges are sharp and you should better stay away.

I know you don’t get why I push people away from myself. At times, even I don’t. I think I’m scared of intimacy and attachment. It’s easy to move on without these two in the scene. I know it’s not always that one has to leave, one has to move on but I know I can’t stay for long. Either I leave or I make people leave. It’s because I’m toxic and I know it. You’d give me all that you have and I wouldn’t even appreciate, let alone reciprocate. I’d compel you to leave and the moment you’d turn away, I’d call you back. I’d want you to listen but I wouldn’t speak. I’d ask you to leave but I’d want you to stay. You’ll lose your mind, trust me. 

My mind is a complete chaos. There are times when I just want to escape from myself but I can’t. What I feel is something I can’t explain. All I know is that there’s a void inside me. All this time I thought I could fill it with the love people would give to me and perhaps, one day I’d become whole and reciprocate it all but as it turns out, love was never filling in that void, it was only getting lost in it, consumed and destroyed. Now that I’ve realised it, I’m trying to save people by pushing them away from me.

So if I push you away, go. Don’t turn back when I call out for you. I know leaving would hurt, but staying would hurt more. I’m asking you to run away from me because I can’t ask you to as I love you. 


​Sometimes I wonder how do I make so many friends whereas people think of me as a loner.

Then I realize I’ve found friendship on a rainy evening when it poured and I stood alone under a tree, getting drenched anyway just to find out there was someone who was as stupid as I was.

I’ve found friendship in unplanned rendezvous where one beer wasn’t enough to get us tipsy, but the company and the conversation got us higher than weed ever could.

I’ve found friendship in the quiet aisles at work. I’ve found friendship in crowded cafeterias, where people forget their entity in mindless chattering.

I’ve found friendship in the words of a writer while getting lost in his imagination.I’ve found friendship in the smile of a streetchild when I gave him a piece from my bun. 

I’ve found friendship in the tears of a gay who could never claim his love in front of the world.I’ve found friendship in the loneliest cottage of grief while playing hide and seek with tears.

I make friends. Loads of them. I talk, I smile, I hang out. And when I look back at my life someday, I know I’m going to be smiling like an idiot because I’ve met them. The dork, the writer, the stranger, the funny, the gay one, the moron, the work buddy, the stoned goes on.

It’s them, all of them, who will give me a toothless smile fifty years down the line. And I wouldn’t exchange them for the rest of the world.

Story of dictatorship in a democratic country

On 29th July, 2018 after two students being killed due to reckless driving and blind competition between two busses, high school students of Bangladesh started to prtotest all over the country in demand of safer roads. According to a survey more than 4200 people die every year due to these road accidents in Bangladesh.

The main role behind these accidents is played by a syndicate owned by shipping minister of Bangladesh who is also the executive president of the Bangladesh Road Transport Workers’ Federation. They take bribes from transport workers for giving them route permit and due to that inexperienced bus drivers and unfit busses gets to be on the roads. Because of the poor quality of public transport system, people are becoming more interested in owning personal vehicles than using personal transportation. For the reason traffic jam is increasing at a dramatic rate and inspiring the drivers to drive speedily for earning money to feed their family. Besides this, another reason of this reckless driving is the nonexistent action for breaking traffic rules.

Considering all these, the students have protested all over the country by taking position in different busy roads and checking driver’s license and vehicle’s fitness certificate. Sadly, it was found that lots of cars didn’t have lisences and fitness certificate including cars of government ministers, parliament officials and high ranked police officers. The students peacefully continued their protest but they were attacked by the police and government’s political organization named ”Chatro league”.

The government announced to have accepted student’s demands. But the students didn’t believe it as the last time there was a protest for quota reform the government promised to taking initiatives but later on denied in front of the whole country. So the students continued to stay in their place and continued their peaceful protest. Police threw tear gas and rubber bullets at the unarmed students while chatro league attacked them with sticks and rods. A student’s eye was pulled out and more than 150 students have been injured. To prevent this news from spreading, they’ve broken journalist’s cameras and mobiles and sexually assaulted a female journalist of a local news paper and had beaten up a lot of journalists therefore.

Internet speed has been slowed down and 3g and 4g service had been made unavailable for the last 24 hours by the government to suppress this news and to prevent people from coming to live. But through different international press like BBC, Al-Jazeera, new york times, telegram and different other international media have reported this issue.

As for the last information, the person who reported the news to Al-Jazeera, Shahidul Alam, has been abducted a few hours earlier (Here’s the live report on the 8th day of the protest : Al-Jazeera coverage with Shahidul Alam )


For further reading:



This is a plea for help. The students of Bangladesh who are being mercilessly attacked are mostly high schoolers aged between 12-18. Please help the humanity.

Our Journey

As the end of the day approaches

We take our journey to the place

Where everything is possible 

We lay on the peaceful grassy hill

Away from worries and sorrows

Hand in hand we look at the sky

Waiting for the moment of eternity 

No humans can reach out for it

But our souls can, when the lights 

Come out of darkness and appears 

As white dots on a black canvas

There starts our voyage into unknown 

Lands of power and chaos where ecstasy

Lift our spirit high into the vast Kingdom

Where doubts dare not visit seldom

We look at the clumsy play

Of the twinkles in shades of grey

And we get lost in the wonderland 

As if garden of eden has come to land

We dare to take a leap of faith

To forget the world we live beneath

You grasp my hands so tight

As if we are the ones to ignite light 

To turn on the melodies of love

In a world people lives to love.

This was a collaboration with my incredible friend Novus Lectio. Please feel free to leave any kind of feedbacks. 

Happy blogging!